It’s funny, my last post was about how Social Networking sucks, which is true, but it got me thinking about human social behavior. Now, I’m no behaviourist… not by far, but I like to observe people and try to figure out why they do what it is they do.

SN (social networking) is a lot like High School.  But instead of the completely shallow and good looking people being popular, the intelligent and witty (most times nerdy) people climb to the heights of social acceptance online.. Those people who can be, and mostly are painfully shy or awkward.  Now this goes for any age, not just High Schoolers (the post isn’t about High School per-say), I know a lot of middle aged people who are just a wreck when it comes to hanging out or being social in the real world. Online, they do much better.

Here is what I think is funny, that back in the day when you wanted to participate in social networking you went to see your friends, hang out, go to a party… Or cruised around the mall… Went to the beach! In the awesome future that we all dreamed about back then, and that now we are living, hanging out with friends has become a slick marketing term… SOCIAL NETWORKING.  Networking is a job, chore… so is having friends becoming a chore?  And how social are we really being? How is social defined?  Let’s look at what dictionary.com has to say…

A partial definition of ‘Social’

  1. pertaining to, devoted to, or characterized by friendly companionship or relations: a social club.
  2. seeking or enjoying the companionship of others; friendly; sociable; gregarious.
  3. of, pertaining to, connected with, or suited to polite or fashionable society: a social event.
  4. living or disposed to live in companionship with others or in a community, rather than in isolation: People are social beings.
  5. of or pertaining to human society, esp. as a body divided into classes according to status: social rank.
  6. involved in many social activities: We’re so busy working, we have to be a little less social now.
  7. of or pertaining to the life, welfare, and relations of human beings in a community: social problems.

Imagine if you will; a room, full of people, and all of them are talking. They aren’t talking much to each other, mostly they are talking to no one in particular.  They are POSTING. Some people have pictures they are holding up to everyone else in the room, other people are playing music for everyone.  All of this is happening at the same time.  There is a flood of information just dumping all over… Once in while someone will pay attention for a short time to someone else in the room… maybe even have a private chat… mostly it’s a visual and audio din.

Is this really being social?  Or is it a cry to get someone to notice?  (That’s the connection back to High School, everyone at that point cried out to get notice one way or another).  I mean if you look at the definition from dictionary.com posted above, it’s pretty clear that “social” requires interaction with people.. not stupid computers. And at the core that is what SN has come down to. A detached form of being social.

The benefits of a detached social experience is that you can filter the information to only see or hear what you want to. You can group, make your own cliq or join an established one. You can also have friends, but keep them at a distance..  hear from them only when you directly contact them, or they you,  but don’t have to see their day to day comings and goings.

If you look at it, this online SN, is like High School, but harsher in ways and kinder in others.

You wind up being friends with people you never would actually physically hang out with. In Pre-SN days you really only had friends that you developed a bond with in person.  It was a slower process, not so click-quick!  Pecking orders happened. The only pecking order that I can see now is how many ‘friends’ you collect, or how many people follow you, or recently how many locations you are the ‘mayor’ of (see foursquare.com).

Social networking can be and is fun depending on who your ‘friends’ are. You just have to keep your head straight and realize that not very much of it is real.  It’s just out there… disconnected!